Rants, Raves, and James: The Diary of Lily Evans
by LuckyGirly
Summary: Lily's diary: full of rants, raves, and James (that git). Filled with humor, human beets, friends, sarcasm, midnight meetings, and plenty of embarassing moments!
1. LilY will you go out with ME?

Disclaimer: Nothing. Belongs. To. Me. Okay?

Lily's Diary

Sept. 1

You do not want to hear about this day. If I were you, I'd go right back to what you were doing and continue with it. So go ahead. Because I'm not certain I can contain myself from telling my horrendous recap of what you are supposed to call a day.

A nightmare, perhaps.

Sept. 1

Don't say I didn't warn you…

-Lily

Sept 1

Okay. So, I was at the station, everything's going just dandy and great, like it does every year. Right? Right. The first years are being the daft little dimwits they are wont to be (_everybody_ was a dimwit when they were in first year. _I_ even admit to it.). Hysteric mothers are sobbing and whatnot. The usual, right?

See, that's where you're wrong. It got much, much worse.

About fifty gazillion times worse, I would say, if that were not such a kindergarten-ish thing. (You know, with the stuck out tongue and the—I hate you times fifty gazillion bajillion so THERE!)

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes. The train station.

Well, Mum of course made the tearful goodbye scene like she does without fail, year after year. But that's not the issue. I'm _used_ to it by now. By the fifth time I had to go back and hug her AGAIN, I put my foot down and continued on to the train. (Mum still crying and waving madly in the background. Honestly, people were beginning to stare—I mean, and who could blame them?)

And who, do you guess, was boarding the exact same time as I was?

James bloody Potter.

Anyway, he was all grinning and "Evans! Long time no see!" and cheekily flirting in that particularly annoying way of his. Okay, I could ignore that, right? He followed me onto the train, and really, was I going to complain when he put my trunk away? I mean I'm trying my best to forget that last time when it (the trunk, duh) slipped out of my hands and knocked that second year unconscious…but okay, that's another story…

Urgh. This is where it really gets bad. If you want to run right away now, I would completely support your decision. Go. Shoo. I can't contain myself for much longer.

Once we enter the big hall-type thing that connects all the compartments, it happened. Oy. It hurts to write it, but I must. He catches me completely off-guard, grabs me and starts carrying me (like his hands are under my back and under the crook of my knees, places I washed most thoroughly in the shower—they were bright red from being scrubbed when I was done with them) through the bustling hall. People are staring. And I don't blame them. Because, do you know why they would have reason to stare?

Well, now you will know. If it wasn't bad enough he was carrying me about like an idiot. He played this tape that was about was about the loudest thing you ever heard. It was blasting and practically blowing everybody's eardrums off. And do you know what it was saying, what EVERYBODY was hearing, in a loud, annoying voice?

Lil-yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy….. Lil-yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy…………………..will you go out with meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?

It went on like that for some time. I was mortified. It was the loudest, most embarrassing thing ever! I must have literally become a beet. It's not difficult, seeing my hair. I wouldn't be surprised if I just heard a loud pop! And James would be holding a freakishly large beet in my place with some red hair sticking out of the top.

Or just some carrot sticks, maybe, in my hair's place. Great! Now I'm turning into a freaking salad! Slap some balsamic vinegar on and everything. Just what I always aspired to in life, to be a salad...really, it's great….

Before I turned into a live beet, I quickly jumped angrily out of his (stupid, stupid, stupid!) arms. And I ran, ran away to the compartment that I, Minnie and Tessa stay in every year. It has even surpassed my most embarrassing moments by far! (Namely the time when I was in first year, and was sat on by a large, large seventh year because I was too small to see…spent the whole year with horrible bruises all over me) And he thought it was romantic.

Well, I have news for _him_. He couldn't get less romantic if he TRIED!

Minnie and Tessa tried to console me but to no avail. I locked the door to the compartment to so nobody could come in. (We could hear Potter banging on the door for at least an hour… I am not going to give him any satisfaction of talking to him! No, I am not. Not after he embarrassed me out of my wits…)

After dinner I ran up here, to my lovely bed, and now lying under the covers, lest anybody should see me. Lovely, lovely bed. It's the only thing that won't annoyingly burst into song—"Lihhhleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…..will you go out with meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee", as some annoying are annoyingly doing.

I probably am still blushing. Just to put the darned cherry on top. Why couldn't I have been born like, a blonde, or a brunette at least? People who don't blush every other minute in their lives? Like me. Oh, those lucky people. They don't realize how very fortunate they are...

-Lily

Sept. 2

Waking up at 5:30 so as to eat breakfast alone. With nobody repeating that irritating song at me again! Nobody should be up at this ungodly hour except for those disgraced by the annoying James Potter. Well, I suppose there'll be a whole crowd of people at breakfast then…oh great, I get to eat breakfast with Snape…what I've always dreamed of.

-Lily

Sept. 2

Not quite as bad as all that. Although there are, like, two other people in the great hall. Happily, Snape is not one of them. No offense to him but he does smell a bit on the greasy turnip-ish side…am sitting alone. Reading Hogwarts, a History. You really can't read it enough times, it, after all, _is _1,659 pages…

-Lily

Sept. 2

The boy just can't leave me alone. No, he just can't. I was innocently eating my jam and toast (it has to be blackberry-apricot, luckily the house elves make it fresh every day. Because otherwise I would have to combine the two separate flavors, and they don't taste nearly as good that way…anyway, back to my story.)

So I was sitting there, eating and reading. A little peace in my life. But oh noooo, that is just impossible. And who is suddenly breathing over my shoulder, just inches from me?

Why, now, couldn't you guess. The love of my life…not. Potter.

I was so surprised because I was really immersed in the book that I nearly jumped out of my skin. Well, not out of my skin, but out of my seat. In short, I sent him crashing to the floor and me running out of the hall. He tried to follow but I was too quick for him.

The people at breakfast were all staring at my soap-opera-ish behavior. I suppose that there isn't much action at the 5:30 breakfast shift.

It should stay that way, in my opinion. It should also stay a James Potter-free zone. Sadly, this morning the lovely James-Potter-free-ness has gone. Sadly.

It's really all my fault. Well, no, his. It's HIS fault he embarrassed me in front of the whole, entire train…oh Lord. I won't forget this as long as I live. Thanks a lot, Potter…

-Lily

Sept. 2

Am considering skipping History of Magic. Binns probably wouldn't even know I was missing…ooh, temptation. However, I have never skived off a class and don't particularly want to start now. After all, like Mum says, if you give in and hide, it shows that the other person winning and everything…oh, forget what Mum says. I can't face the world! The world is not kind. Especially not to human/beets such as myself. (A fact I know very well, and the last day has proved.)

-Lily

Sept 2

In History of Magic. What an utter joy. Did you really think I'd skip it? No, I'm too much of a studying geek, which also has the issue of transforming into a human beet when she blushes. A rather convenient situation, if I do say so myself. I wouldn't even have to go to this stupid class if that were the case! I could just…what do beets do all day? Beets me. (Corny, corny, corny joke. Dad would be proud…they are his one and only variety of joke. Trust me, it gets really annoying after just an hour of a car trip.)

-Lily

Sept 2

This is why I am not a permanent beet-because the two options of being one end in:

a. Being sliced up and served in a salad, or cooked…and eventually being eaten! Eurgh, I feel really sorry for vegetables right now…I never thought I'd say that.

b. Be left smushed in the corner of a refrigerator drawer and be forgotten about, and get all moldy and disgusting.

Neither of which are very appealing to me.

-Lily

Sept 2

What is this, Throw Lily Notes So She Can't Concentrate On Taking Notes Day? TLNSSCCOTND, for short. We should really make it a national holiday or something, as nobody is allowing me to take my horrendously boring notes in peace and quiet! First it was Tessa:

_Lily? Will you talk-Tessa_

Why, I believe I _am_ faintly familiar with that skill. Who knew?

Then it was Minnie. I thought she was practically in a coma, she was actually sleeping. Just a little bit ago she apparently woke up…and for joy, yet another slip of paper was magically thrown to my desk.

_Lilsykins…come on! Don't be upset…you've been acting really, really weird. Even weirder than normal I might add! Everybody has probably forgotten by now anyways…_

_-Minnie_

Just then a really, really annoying boy (Christopher, maybe? Curly blonde hair, face like a constipated rat…okay, okay) started humming the Li-leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee will you go out with meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-tune. Stupid constipated rat.

I looked at Minnie and made a face. This is _far_ from over…

-Lily

Sept 2

Oh my Lord.

I was just in Defense Against the Dark Arts and…oh, I feel as if I'm going to vomit. What did I do now?

-Lily

Sept 2

Okay, Okay, I'll explain. I was just sitting there in class, innocently minding my own business, taking detailed notes on the Poppleyponse—a really weird horse-like creature that has the properties of a unicorn but can turn really nasty when provoked…but back to the matter at hand.

And then this random fourth year appears at the door and is all, "Professor Griggins? Er, Professor Dumbledore asked to see Lily Evans."

I am in a state of shock. _I_ was never asked to _"see"_ the headmaster. Never in my life! It was always Sirius or James or Remus or Peter, sometimes all together. What did I do? I'm most certainly not a trouble maker! Ack! So nervous, and following the fourth year still. After all—I've never been to Dumbledore's office before! How am I to know where it? Oh no!

Everybody was looking as I went out of the class, numb from shock.

We are here…oh Lord, just kill me now and get it over with, why don't you…

-Lily

Sept. 2

If I wasn't dead earlier, I might as well be now.

Only not for reasons you might suspect.

I'm not expelled. Was it possible to be more embarrassed than I was in that bloody office? Sorry Dumbledore. Oy. I don't even want to talk about it.

-Lily

Sept. 2

However, I know I'll end up recounting it at some time, so…might as well be now. Just great.

So we (me and the fourth year—who knows what his importance is, certainly not me) reached Dumbledore's office. I think I said this before but I'd never been there before…it was all whirly silver gadget thingies and eclectic artifacts and a pretty gold-and-red bird. I think I read somewhere that it's a phoenix, but anyway.

Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk. Well, obviously. But who was also sitting there, on one of the chairs? I swear, the guy must be stalking me!

Mr. Potter. Why am I so not surprised?

So I am probably standing there with my mouth hanging open, but Dumbledore beckons me to the chair next to James. I sit in it. Really, how can you disobey the headmaster? He has the very great power to expel people and cool stuff like that. Super powers, I tell you.

He's all "Lily, sit down. I have something to tell you that concerns Mr. Potter."

I tried to keep my face neutral. It was not easy. I think I managed a nod, hopefully.

"Well—Mr. Potter has just mentioned to me that there was an—oh, we'll call it an—_incident_—on the train."

Some incident, I was thinking darkly. That Potter had better not told DUMBLEDORE of all people about the horrendous asking-out-while-playing-a-scary-tape-in-front-of-everybody, or else I would kill him. Probably wouldn't go down too well with Dumbledore, which is why I sat in my chair, nodding like a nitwit to everything he said.

"He tells me that when he was trying to gain entry to your compartment" (gain entry? More like force the wall down) "…but failed. I had asked him to tell you something, but it is quite alright, for I think a day hardly makes a large difference."

I nodded again, really quite puzzled. What could I possibly have to do with Potter? This had to be some horrible misunderstanding. Oh please…

"He was trying to tell you that both of you have been appointed to the Heads positions!" Dumbledore announced joyfully to both of him.

I think I must have been gaping at him for quite a while then, like a stunned fish or something. How stupid could I have been, really? It'd totally slipped my mind when I'd entered the train…why, I'd been too mortified to remember! And that's why he had been banging annoyingly on the compartment door for such a long time. Ooooh…

And. I. Am. Head. With. POTTER!

What does this world have against me? Seriously, I would really like to know. Maybe I was born under an unlucky star, although I've never really believed in Divination. Bunch of loonies in weird costumes predicting wildly your future. But still. I would totally believe the unlucky star thing. It is, so, so true. It would explain a LOT.

Dumbledore blabbered on about a bunch of stuff I was too busy being shocked to listen to properly. The long and short of it is that Potter is head boy! And I am head girl.

I am thinking of resigning. Can you do that?

-Lily

Sept 2

Am in state of shock. Wandering round the halls like a green-eyed zombie.

-Lily

Sept 3.

Was planning on waking up earlier like yesterday, however the plan backfired because I slept in. When I woke up (10:00, a far cry from yesterday…4 and a half hours after in fact) I saw Minnie and Tessa ogling me with really weird googly eyes. Kind of standing over me. Waiting for me to wake up. How creepy is that?

Oh, I suppose I should talk a little about my friends. That's what diaries are for, right? Writing about your friends and your day. Sadly, all that's in this thing is Potter.

Which is pretty pathetic, if you think about it. But whatever.

Anyway, Minnie and Tessa are great. Tessa's sort of dark (she was born in Egypt) and has lovely big deep brown eyes and black hair that's naturally straight and pretty (lucky her!). She's got a sense of humor and is kind, obviously. I met Tessa first—we were both scrawny little first years (her probably being a prettier-scrawny first year, if that's possible) without any known friends. We met up right away and starting chattering. We've been friends ever since…aww, sob story. I've got to go hug Tessa now.

-Back. Okay, they were both whispering (are they plotting against me? I totally wouldn't doubt it) and glancing at me and Tessa looked really confused when I hugged her. But, moving on.

Minnie's a lot different. She has kind of sharp blue eyes (but they're still pretty) and really white skin, and dark brown hair. She has very sharp-featured, straight nose and deep red lips. She's also impossibly thin as a yardstick. She's not exactly beautiful, but her face isn't unpleasant. Tessa and I had found her in an argument with a Slytherin about God knows what. Her tongue is just another something sharp about Minnie. (It's short from Minuetta—she hates it, and she'll hex anybody into next Tuesday is they call her by her birth name.)

Ho hum. Going to go now.

-Lily

Sept 3

Found a letter slipped into my bag when I was taking my Transfiguration text book out to finish my stupid essay on the proper wand-movement of changing an alligator to a piano.

It was on a crumpled sheet of parchment (probably crushed by my abundance of books…) and written rather messily in scribbled ink. Like a six-year-old's handwriting. I opened it up with some interest—after all, who would be giving me a note? Minnie and Tessa don't need a note…they share a bloody dormitory with me! So I quickly opened it up and read the crumply parchment…

**Meet me in the common room, Sunday the 4th at 12:00 at night. Don't be late. **

Oooh lala, suspenseful…

-Lily

A/N: Erm…well. I hoped you liked it and everything, I personally thought it was really refreshing, writing a diary fic…okay. Well…review please? If you like the story…reviews encourage me SO much to keep going, and make me spit out the chapters so much quicker. If you didn't like it…I don't really mind flames, or constructive criticism. Ok! If you have any suggestions or ideas or comments whatsoever…please, review! I'll love you forever and give you my famed imaginary cupcakes (imaginary sprinkles included). Okay…bye! (And don't forget about the blue button down there…it's calling your name!)


	2. Silver Unicorns

Disclaimer: Why do I feel like I've written this line before?...nothing J.K Rowling has created—( Harry and co.) belongs to me. I'm simply borrowing her fabulous characters and everything. So don't sue.

**Lily's Diary**

Sept 3

Still trying to figure out who the note could have been from. Hmmm. The possibilities are endless.

-Lily

Sept 3

Thinking, and sucking on a Sugar Quill. Yum. It must be a boy, because (not to be stereotypical, but it's true) what girl has that terrible handwriting?

I could always, as a last resort, go into mad lunatic stalker plan and compare every boy's handwriting to the kind on the note. How'd I do that? Steal Professor Grifnett's load of essays, then compare. Hmmm. It's an idea, sure, but am I that desperate to know? Who would even want to write an anonymous note to me?

-Lily

Sept 3

The next thing you know, I'll have a boy pelting stones at my window in the middle of the night. This, of course, has no chance of working—seeing as my dormitory's on Hogwart's 6th floor—very, very high. So the boy in question would seem like a speck to me. He'd have to have a mighty strong arm to throw the pebbles about a mile up the castle walls.

Anyway, as I was saying, the next thing you know there'll be a boy pelting stones at my window till I look and see who it is. And then I will look down, and the boy will be so dazzled by my gorgeous long red hair (who am I kidding? This is a total fairy tale, because when was my hair EVER called gorgeous?) and stunning emerald eyes (again, this is an utter fantasy, because any boy can see the color of my eyes from about a gazillion feet away has got superpowers) and will begin reciting lovely Shakespearean-ish poems about me.

Again, as I said, a .0000000000000000000000000124899538568391 chance of happening. Which, last time I checked, is not a very high percent chance. Oh well, we can dream, can't we? Even if our utterly romantic and lovely dreams have no chance of happening, that doesn't stop me in the slightest.

Although getting an anonymous note that might be from a boy is a far cry from a romantic stone-throwing-on-window-in-the-dead-of-night-with-romantic-poems situation. But can't a girl dream?

-Lily

Answering my own question: No, a girl cannot dream—if she wants to be realistic, that is. A trait that I greatly admire. Sadly, a trait is not mine. Yet.

-Lily

Sept 3

It will be mine, though! Some day, although I might have to wait….it WILL be mine! Muahahahahahhahahaha!

Wow, I sound very much like an evil villain who wants to take over the world.

A realistic evil villain who wants to take over the world, though. Which, I suppose, is a step in the right direction. Of sorts.

-Lily

Sept 3

Extremely bored, to the max. In the dormitory, in case I didn't mention it before. Since it is just so amazingly important. Not. Ho hum.

Also hungry. Don't ask me WHY, how I would know is a mystery. It's 12 at night, why on earth would I be hungry? Maybe I can go to the kitchens for a snack…oooh, bad Head Girl behavior. But it probably wouldn't be good for the school's reputation if I woke up dead because of the absence of sufficient food in my stomach.

Maybe I'll ask Minnie to go with me. Tessa's usually too afraid to go.

Hold on, I will be back later. I'm so hungry I could eat a hippogriff.

-Lily

Sept 3

Why do weird things always seem to happen to exclusively me? I'm right, too. Nothing weird ever happens to Tessa or Minnie. Or anybody else I know. But noooooooo, with me it's a special case. Everything weird just HAS to happen to me. It's like Newton's law of gravity, or something. Except whatever it is for that, it's Everything weird and unusual has to happen to Lily Evans, and not a single other soul on this earth.

And I don't mean good-unusual…like the aforementioned situation with the love sonnets and Rapunzel-ish hair.

So Minnie was sleeping, so I decided to venture down to the kitchens alone, right? Right. It isn't that far from our dormitory. I felt like my heart was going to explode right out of my chest when I was rushing through the corridors—what if I was caught?

Anyway, I finally reached the kitchens. I went in, and there was the usual crush of house-elves, doe-eyed little slaves ready to obey your every word. Only I feel kind of sorry for them, and never ever order them around. They know what I need every single time I come in. It's the same, every single time.

They get me a lemon poppy seed scone, hot and fresh (how do they always have them hot and fresh? Continually baking in the oven? It's a mystery to me, but whatever) and let me make my own tea. I don't know, it's just a thing I have. I NEED to make my own tea. I have a fit if anybody else tries to do it for me. It's soothing, making tea.

So I came in, and of course they were all, "Oh, Miss Lily Evans is here again! Oh, what a great joy, Miss. We will be right back with a scone, Miss, we know you like lemon poppy seed, straight fresh from the oven! And Miss is knowing where the tea bags and kettle are, Miss, even though Notty can surely make the tea for Miss Lily, he surely can!"

As I always do, I say a very polite thank-you and say, do call me Lily. And no, I will make my own tea. I'm sure they don't want a fit in the middle of the kitchen. It might, like, throw off the perfect temperature of the chocolate éclairs they seem to be continually baking. What am I talking about, again? You can't mess up the temperature of éclairs. But, I continue.

So. Who do I see, grabbing mounds of éclairs, marshmallows, and basically every sweet known to mankind (and then some)?

Sirius Black.

Of course he comes over to me and is all, "Lily, darling! How were your holidays?"

"Fine, Black." I said.

"Ah, still on last-name basis, are we, Lily? I though we'd gotten over that!" he said, with a mock disappointment look on his face.

"Afraid so." I couldn't hold back a tiny smile. Black may be one of the most annoying beings on the earth (Potter being top of the list, naturally), but is still pretty funny.

"Ah, well. You can't have it all, can you?" he asked more to the ceiling than me, raising his palms up.

"No, you can't." I said. By this point we were sitting at a table—me drinking my tea and eating my scone, him with a mound of sweets beside him.

"So, what brings you to the kitchens at this time of night?" he asked me.

"I could ask the same of you." I responded. After all, I wasn't the one with a massive pile of sweets beside me!

"Midnight snack." He grinned and winked what I suppose he thinks is a charmingly devilish manner. He is, sadly, wrong.

"Same here, I guess." I replied. What else, really, was there to say?

There was something I really needed to ask. "Sirius, does Potter have really messy handwriting?"

"Yeah, it looks like a three year old who writes with a stick instead of a quill—hey, Lily, we're making progress! Just three days into the term, and you've already called me by first name!"

"Yes, yes, achievement." I said, hinting a smile.

"Why would you like to know about dear James? Does somebody maybe have a little crush?" Sirius asked teasingly.

Gosh, could he get farther from the truth? I think not. I just wanted to know whether the note was from him or not!

"NO!" I said.

"Ok, ok, I get it!" Sirius said, mockingly crossing his arms in protection in front of him. "But isn't he growing on you, just a teensy-weensy bit?" wheedled Sirius.

"Ugh, no! I'd rather date Filch than—oh, well, maybe not, but still—" and then I realized my fatal mistake. I'd just said I'd rather go out with Potter than Filch. Which is true, of course—as much as I hate Potter, Filch just plain has no hygiene. And is about fifty bazillion years older than me. But this has given (in Black's brain, of course) James a 1 more chance.

How could I have been so stupid? It must have been the combination of tea and scones, which soothe me and make me very calm and nice and stuff. Which is possibly why I called Black by his first name. Also it was really late by then, like 12:30 at night or something. But still, I take full blame for my words.

"Ah, but this gives James an advantage, now! Lily, I think you're starting to admit your true feelings, good for you!" he said cheerily.

I tried to reason with him that I'd still choose the giant squid over James, but Sirius would hear none of it. Urgh. Boys! How can they be so…ANNOYING? Grrr.

-Lily

Sept 4

I wonder if Mystery Boy Who Has Really Bad Handwriting And Wrote That Note To Me (otherwise known as MBWHRBHAWTNTM for short—though that isn't really short, you can't have it all) IS James? Pray Lord it isn't. What could he possibly want to meet me for, anyway?

Although he still owes me an apology, for the horrendous song-and-asking-me-out incident. Nobody has forgotten about it, either. Annoying Slytherins are still humming it in the hallways whenever I pass them. Oh, how I would love to trip them…too bad it would make me a bad Head Girl. Darn.

Of course, I could always hire Burkoff and Parksky (the two really muscular, but rather dim-witted Hufflepuffs who are in my year) to do it for me. You know, trip them, the whole bit. I'm not sure whether they've ever had a job concerning tripping people and beating them up, but I'm sure they'd catch on quickly.

-Lily

Sept 4

Ach, History of Magic. I always write in this class because it's so BORING…it's the only thing to do. Me, Tessa and Minnie find various ways to amuse ourselves. We've got this special note paper that shows what everybody writes—so you don't have to throw bits of parchment around, and have them land on the wrong desk. Which is what happens to me, due to my horrendous aim. Anyway, this time we were playing "would you rather"…

(A/N: Lily writes in normal type, Minnie writes in underlined type, and Tessa writes in _italics._)

Tessa, would you rather:

Go out with Sirius Black, or

Go out with James Potter

_Erm…I don't know…I suppose…Sirius?_

Yes, you guys WOULD look nice together…you know, both of you have dark coloring, and he's at least a head taller and…oooh, I see it! Lily, what do you think?

Yes, yes, I see it too, Minnie! The only drawback is his best friend, the prat.

_He's not THAT bad, Lily._

What are you talking about, Tess? He didn't even try to apologize to me about the train incident!

Lily…he just MIGHT have attempted to apologize the time at the 5:30 breakfast. Sadly, knocking him to the floor and running out of the room just MIGHT have discouraged him. 

_The girl has a point, Lils. _

Well…I didn't even knock him over THAT hard.

Sure, Lily, sure.

_But you guys would go adorably together! You HAVE to get together. _

Yes, and those chances are just as high as…as…as me getting together with…with the…squid!

_Well, I'VE seen that squid, and he's REALLY, REALLY, not what you'd expect, for a squid…really sexy…_

Yes, yes, very. 

You guys are ridiculous. The day I go out with James Potter, is the day I run around the school in my underwear!

_I'm holding you to that, Lils. _

Yes, we even have it here, on paper! It's a binding magical contract, Lily! You've got to follow through with it, now, if you go out with him!

_You mean WHEN she goes out with him. It's bound to happen sometime. _

Guys, shut up! Fine! I promise. It'll never happen, hate to break it to you two!

Suuuurreee.

Be quiet, MINUETTA.

NO! Not that—THAT NAME!

Yes, and I can scream it aloud whenever I please…I could do it now, in the middle of this very class, I really could, and everybody'd finally know your REAL name…

No! 

_Lily, it's History of Magic. You've never caused a ruckus in a class. _

Well, true, but I could right when it ends!

_Too true, too true._

Ach, fine, I'll be quiet about your FUTURE title as Mrs. James Pott—

_Yes, sorry, but now this document has to end, on account of a vicious ink fight going on between Lily Evans and Minuetta—COUGH—I mean, Minnie Laflaree! And Lily's got ink on Minnie's nose, oooooh, nice flick there, Lily—and no, there's a great splatter, and now Minnie's got Lily's left cheek! Marvelous aim, Minn. Now Lily is—oh, is she really? Yes, I do believe so, ladies and gentleman! Lily is pouring her WHOLE BOTTLE OF FUSCHIA INK, MINNIE'S LEAST FAVORITE COLOR—onto Minnie's whole head! _

_Her hair does look rather shiny in that shade! Oh, and now, MINNIE'S RETALIATING! OOOH-SHE'S TAKING HER BOTTLE OF PINK INK—THE EXACT BOTTLE THAT LILY HATES BECAUSE IT CLASHES HORRIBLY WITH HER RED HAIR—YES, AND MINNIE POURS IT ALL OVER LILY! Excellent comeback, Minn! _

_And Professor Binns doesn't even seem to notice that two of his students are thoroughly covered with bright shades of ink, from head to toe! Ack, the paper's getting splattered…and.. NO, GUYS, NO ATTACKING THE REFEREE…AACKKK, NOOOOO….._

We're very sorry, but dear Tessa was unable to finish this little narration, on account of having mustard-yellow, HER least favorite color ink, poured all over her head. Very unfortunate, tsk tsk. 

Yes, very. Now, if you'll excuse us, but we've got to tell Binns (he still doesn't know about the ink fight—gosh) and go wash the ink off our faces! Ah, the fun of ink fights.

Sept 4

Fun ink fight. We went to Madam Pomfrey (well, Minnie did, she's not afraid of being yelled at—me and Tessa stood outside) and got the potion that clears off ink stains on skin. It takes awhile to work, though, so we've still got some on us.

Tessa's got a bit of yellow ink splatter to the left of her left eyebrow and a little of the ends of a few strands of her dark hair. I've got a little (urgh, horrible) hot pink ink on the very right of my right cheek, and a few tiny splatters on my hands as well.

But Minnie's the funniest! She's got a huge fuschia blob of ink that refuses to come off—right at the end of her nose! It's hilarious. It's like one of those clown nose things. Minnie refuses to come out of the dormitory. We'll force her in the end, though. She can't stay in there, hiding forever.

-Lily

Sept 4

Alas, but she can. Stay in our dormitory forever, I mean. She's going to skive off Care of Magical Creatures. Grrr. Tessa and I are going there now.

-Lily

Sept 4

Hilarious Care of Magical Creatures class.

So professor Nottskint had us go into the Forest (yes, I know, it's er…forbidden…but we didn't go that far in, maybe fifty feet or something) and we were doing this lesson about unicorns. Anyway, Nottskint gave us this weird, kind of sparkly sweet water to attract the unicorns with. We had to sit really still in the forest, like statues, each with our own little bucket of the sparkly sweet watery stuff (it has a proper name, I'm sure, but I can't remember it at the moment.)

We had to sit about two feet away from one another (the whole class was in one long line) so we wouldn't get "distracted". Naturally, Tessa was at my left. Remus Lupin was at my right. We all had our bowls in front of us. Nottskint told us that the unicorns and how they reacted towards all of us and everything would teach us something, though we might not be aware of what they were trying to "teach" us.

Tessa looked hilarious, really concentrating. She had folds in her forehead, and it was really funny. Everybody was concentrating, matter of fact. Sirius and James and Peter and stuff were goofing off but then Nottskint made them be quiet.

Anyway, a girl called Alice got the unicorn first…it was really pretty and silver and gorgeous, couldn't have been more than three years old. It cautiously stepped up close, out of the shadows, and started licking the sparkly sweet water stuff. Then it sort of nudged Alice and led her away, out of the forest.

It was agony sitting still for ages, but we did. A boy—I think he's called Frank, maybe—anyway, his came, it was all silver and it was probably six..

Tessa's came after that, a young gold one—all slender and glimmering and beautiful. Tessa looked really surprised, but she followed the unicorn out. I wondered what they were all doing out there. Having some weird unicorn ceremony?

Then, for some odd reason, Sirius's came. Don't ask me why. It was gold like Tessa's, but a bit bigger. Sirius looked extremely surprised, as the unicorns normally go for the quieter, gentler people—mostly girls. It nudged him right out of the forest, him looking bewilderingly at his friends, who were still sitting unicorn-less (like most of the class.)

There were some more unicorns, but then one came for me! It was absolutely gorgeous, even more so up close. It was silver and slender and moved as if it were walking on silk. It cautiously came up to my bowl of sparkly sweet water stuff and started licking it cautiously. Then it nudged me up and prodded me (with the side of its horn) out of the forest.

All of the unicorns were leading and prodding their people about, it really was hilarious. For some reason, Tessa's unicorn kept pushing Tessa towards Sirius and his unicorn. Frank and his unicorn were chasing Alice and hers. It was really quite hilarious. Then James appeared in the open field—with a pure white unicorn, a pelt so bright white that it almost hurt to look at it. James looked completely confused, and for some reason my unicorn kept going towards James. James's went towards mine too. I tried to resist but it was really weird. Unicorns are like, higher beings…how can you argue with them?

Finally, almost the whole class was being prodded about by their unicorns. It was hilarious; Sirius's unicorn kept getting more riled up about chasing Tessa and her unicorn. Finally, Sirius's unicorn pushed Sirius right into Tessa's back, making Tessa land with a plop on top of Sirius's lap, in the middle of the whole ruckus. It was hilarious, Tessa was blushing (as much as somebody with her dark coloring can.).

Similar things were happening throughout. Alice had already fallen or banged into Frank twice, and both were bright red. It was thoroughly hilarious…except for the parts when MY unicorn kept goading me towards James.

Very interesting class. Not sure what it taught us, except maybe unicorns are a little less docile than we all thought. Bet Minnie's sorry she missed it now…

-Lily

**A/N: I liked writing that, it was fun for me. Hope you guys like it as well. Remember… reviews help me write about fifty times quicker! So yeah… review! Be it rambles, ideas, comments, flames, or whatever, I REALLY appreciate. Plus there're my famous imaginary cupcakes… with vanilla or chocolate frosting, imaginary sprinkles included.**

**Thanks to: starblaze**: I'm glad you think it's funny! **Bigsmileygirl-3** : Awww, I'm glad you liked it! **bRaTsKi, DobbyGrl and CattyGirl for reviewing! You guys are the best! **


	3. Wheels of Swiss cheese

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and co. does not in any shape or form belong to me, but rather to the great J.K. Rowling. Just letting you know, and all.

**Lily's Diary**

Sept 5

Thank the Lord that today is in fact Friday. Tomorrow the sacred and holy weekend shalt begin and we shall at last be free from the confines are restraints of our taskmasters and slave drivers (a.k.a professors.).

Lily

Sept 5

Today I gave Minnie the note to see if she knows whose writing it in. She said somebody might have asked their friend to write it for them, too! Argh. This opens a whole new realm of possibilities. She said I may just have to face the ugly facts—I will have to wait till Sunday to find out the mystery writer.

Just great. I am so impatient!

Lily

Sept 5

In Defense Against the Dark Arts. Professor Dalmici was being horrendously boring and making us copy practically a whole text book worth of notes from the board. Why must they annoy us so? It's probably in the teacher manual. It's probably a requirement, when they get hired here.

I can just see it. This is probably the test to see if the teacher's sufficiently boring. What they (most likely) do is bring a whole bunch of students into the teacher's office. Then the person gets to lecture and Dumbledore counts to see how many students are sleeping, how many are passing notes, and how many are paying attention.

That's how he does it! I've uncovered his secret! Hmmm, let's see. Then each trial-teacher would get a boredom score. Five points for every kid asleep, two for every one passing notes, and none for the paying attention students.

And the higher the better. In fact, Binns was probably top in his boredom score.

NOBODY can stay awake in his class, I tell you. It's a physical impossibility.

They probably even have a scoreboard for the whole thing! And it'd be a huge achievement to be top on it. I bet Dumbledore would give the top three a raise, or something.

Lily

Sept 5

Hmmm. Let me count the boredom score for this class.

Ok, let's tally up. I'll start for the front row…Marcia Robbins is—yes, she's sleeping. Samuel Goodman's passing notes with his friend, Mitchell—ok, four points…then—wow, somebody's paying attention! I think her name's Dalia. Ok, zero points for her.

Lily

Sept 5

Math's never been my key subject, but I've calculated his boredom score as 37.5. Wait, that can't be right, can it? There aren't supposed to be decimals….argh. Okay, we'll round up, to 38.

I will check this score with Dumbledore later, though, because one can never rely on my (practically nonexistent, but whatever) math skills.

Lily

Sept. 5

Absolutely HILARIOUS time at dinner today. Really, I'm not exaggerating. I'd try to tell it to you, but I'd probably die laughing in the middle and leave you in suspense. Hahahaha.

Lily

Sept 5.

Oh fine, fine, I'll tell you. Sirius decided the school was getting a "bit on the boring side" and decided to play a prank. He got some of the vodka that the house elves cook with. It's completely harmless when cooked, but it's pretty strong stuff uncooked.

Anyway, since he claims the house-elves are so "obsessed with him because he is the mighty and great Sirius Black whom every body loves and adores with their whole heart" (his words, not mine…). Well, the house-elves gave him the whole bottle! It's a gigantic bottle, I think Ogden's Vodka.

Anyway, Sirius had the gigantic bottle under his chair at dinner. He sort of tried to discreetly uncork it under the table. Alas, he didn't know that if you press the cork, it (the cork, keep up!) blasts off and normally blasts into somebody. It banged into Peter—it was hilarious. One minute he was just eating his roast beef, the next he's practically knocked off his chair by the force of the cork. It scared him out of his wits, you should have seen his face.

Anyway once the cork was off (which was an adventure in itself…) he snuck up to the teachers' table. He started chatting merrily to Professor Amistera (I swear she was flirting with him….urgh! She's like ninety! Well, her hair is graying, at least.) Then, when she went off to get some potatoes (which were on another table) he poured about HALF of the bottle into her drink. It fizzled and sparked, but thankfully it settled by the time she came back. Sirius had returned back to our table….and we were all eagerly watching the progress.

As a Head Girl I should probably have stopped it…but, can't I live a little on the wild side? Or let Sirius live on the wild side. Ah, well.

She came back, sat in her seat and was looking about for Sirius. She took a huge gulp of her drink (pumpkin juice mixed with vodka must have been a simply delicious combination….yuck) and immediately shot up towards the ceiling with this fire stuff on her bottom! Like when a rocket ship blasts off.

It was soooo funny. One minute everybody's laughing and chatting and etc, the next, the Astronomy professor shoots up into the air like a boomerang. Madly funny. Then she shot right back down, and her cheeks were bright red and her bottom still had some sparks coming off it.

She ran out to the bathroom, but we did not miss the smoke emitting from the seat of her robes. Hahahahaha.

She didn't give Sirius a detention, either. After all, she loves him. She probably believes he'll sweep her off her feet once he's graduated. If I had made a teacher shoot to the ceiling like a rocket and fire sparks at their bottom, you'd have bet I'd have a dandy detention slip.

But alas, the world works in strange (and really really funny) ways. And we may just have to learn how to accept them.

Lily

Sept 5

I sound comically wise, which is ironic because I've just finished discussing smoke emitting from a teacher's bottom—and the said teacher sailing a zillion feet into the air.

Lily

Sept 6

Extraordinarily tired and angry. It took Tessa and Minnie's combined efforts to wake me.

And do YOU know how my darling dear friends wake me?

Yes, with a bucket of ice cold water. I know. How could they, right?

The fact that they had been trying to wake me for forty five minutes still does NOT justify their action in the slightest. Grrr.

Lily

Sept 6

At breakfast, eating my lovely toast with blackberry-apricot jam. Two seats down, a little first year falls asleep with a plop—face down in their oatmeal bowl.

I can sympathize, as much as it pains me to admit it. Yes, I, Lily Evans, DID fall asleep in her oatmeal bowl in the 1st year. Back when I was not privy to the obvious joys of apricot-and-blueberry jam on toast. (How could I have lived, I now wonder.)

But that was only because I was up till 5 in the morning, writing an essay for the stupid potions teacher, Professor Poche.

I thought I would never live that day down, but hey ho, here I am….er, living. As you can see. Obviously, otherwise would I be writing? And the answer to that is a resounding NO.

Lily

Sept. 6

Oy. Does the whole world have it in for me? I think so. But what did I ever do to anybody, hmmmm? Nothing, but nooooo! Everybody has to go around screwing up my already imperfect life.

You know, I bet they have meetings. How to Screw Up Lily's Life Club. It's probably a class right here at Hogwarts—unbeknownst to me. Probably taught by the lovely James Potter. There are all the little tips and hints about how to mess up my life, schedule, and just plain annoy me. It's really quite a clever plan, only now I've found them out. They can't hide from me any longer!

Minnie has said I have some "inner hostility issues". Harrumph. Well, she's WRONG because I'm the most UNHOSTILE person I've ever met! So there.

(Yes, I am aware that I sound alarmingly like a five-year old.)

Lily

Sept 6

Alright, so here's what happened:

The stupid, stupid Potions teacher, Professor Poche, has assigned me to work with WHO for the whole entire year? Not Minnie, not Tessa. Not anybody who I'm REMOTELY on good terms with.

No. He put me with the ONE person I cannot stand. And could you just take a guess as to who that was?

James bloody Potter.

Because, Prof. P has secretly hated me, ever since that potion I made accidentally splattered all over him and turned him into a whinnying donkey.

It's not my fault! I was a young and stupid second year girl who had no talent for Potions whatsoever! Well, some things never change (my talent level for Potions, I fear, is something around negative 999,999,999,999,999ish….).

So WHAT if we had to call in Professor Dumbledore to lead him out by a rope round his neck? So what if we had a donkey who was whinnying and snorting all through the halls? So what that people asked to ride him? Madam Pomfrey put him right in the end.

Well, except he had hooves and couldn't speak without snorting alarmingly weirdly for a week.

Other than that, I have done absolutely nothing to the man. It's HE who has the issue with inner hostility, not me. He hasn't been able to forgive me since second year? What I grudge. I, of course am above holding such a silly thing as a grudge.

Except for Potter. But he, I must say, is a special case.

Lily

Sept 6

Our first potion was a complete and utter disaster.

It was supposed to be simple, according to our dear and beloved Professor Poche. That was the furthest thing from the undeniable truth.

When it turns the boy two rows across from you into a giant wheel of swiss cheese, you kind of know you've gone horribly wrong.

It was a complete and utter disaster. Urgh. If Professor Poche didn't hate me before (which he undoubtedly did…) he certainly LOATHES me times fifty gazillion now.

So Professor claimed it was a potion to change the skin color of any person to a flashing purple shade. As usual, he wrote out the instructions and stuff. Me and Potter had just gotten started brewing our disastrous potion.

He came up to me…well, we WERE supposed to meet up with our partners, so I can't exactly blame him for that. He had that annoying twinkle in his eye. He also had a grin on his face that I just wanted to smack off. Nobody should have a grin on their face when they are paired with Lily Evans for potions class. It will always end in tears—or worse, death.

Joking about that. Well, almost. Anyway…

So he was trying to be all nice and charming (he was failing alarmingly, sadly enough for him) and friendly and kind and all that stuff. I was just chopping my chrysanthemum roots into perfect squares, as the potion required. Anyway, I turned to put the roots into the cauldron between us.

After I dumped the roots in, he was looking at me and he took my hands over the now-steaming cauldron. It was quite funny, actually, because his face looked all wavy and stuff—that's what smoke does, you know? It was like one of those fun-house mirrors that make you look all weird. Lily Long-Nose, I would look like if I were in one of those weird fun house mirror thingies. Hmmm. Lily Long-Nose. It sounds Indian, except with my red hair and green eyes I don't think I'd quite fit in as an Indian.

Where were we, before I was discussing my future Indian title of Lily Long-Nose? Oh yes…the potions disaster.

So he had taken my hands and he looked straight to my eyes through all the smoke which was now a weird shade of orange. He was just staring at me. I was a bit dazed. Then he started apologizing.

Or his version of it, anyway, which was: "Erm…Lily, I'm really sorry for, um, you know, embarrassing you on the train and everything, I feel really bad about it and, erm, I'll never do it again." He said it as if he'd memorized it and it was all really rushed.

I just said, "Fine."

Then he grinned at me and I remembered just how much I hate the boy. Ah, alas.

Then he leaned forwards just as I was leaning forwards (to dust some of the crumbs of the chrysanthemum roots into the potion) and we bonked noses and it threw me off and so my leg banged into the cauldron, effectively spattering some of the stuff all over the class.

It was quite odd. Some hit Minnie and she turned into a giant piece of sharp cheddar cheese. Seriously. One minute she was sitting there, chatting to Tessa (LUCKY two got each other as partners…) and the next she'd just kind of thunked into the chair. Only, she was all squarish and orangey yellow. And a piece of cheese.

Everybody started screaming. Some had splashed onto Tessa, and she became a cucumber…(again, don't ask.) Only the life-size cucumber had two eyes right in the middle. You definitely haven't seen it all till you go into a Potions class where I am taking part in. Only there will you view the lovely sights of innocent students suddenly becoming various types of cheeses, cucumbers with eyes, chocolate cheesecake, apples, and even a fig thrown into the mix.

Really, it was like a supermarket aisle there in the potions class.

Well, except all the "foods" were life size and everybody else was crashing about into the various "foods", generally making utter and complete fools of themselves. Madam Pomfrey had to come to the classroom seeing as the "foods" obviously couldn't walk…it wasn't as if a tomato could suddenly sprout legs.

It would have been quite funny, actually, had me and James not got failing marks for the class. But sadly, we did.

Tessa still has a green sheen about her and Minnie smells vaguely like some sharp cheddar. She's in the shower right now, I expect vigorously washing, trying to rid herself of the smell.

Argh, everybody will hate me. Still, it's not much difference than before, eh? Only now it's with the excitement of knowing I'm able to change people into various food groups without even meaning to!

Ah, the beauty of being…er…me? Who am I joking.

Lily

Sept. 7

Ow, ow, I cut my hand on an edge of one of the MANY pages of the amazingly interesting (not) book, _Potions: A Sixth Year's Study._ Such an astonishingly creative title, too. Ouch, I've got a nifty little paper cut right above my knuckle. I'm too lazy to get a tiny strip of cloth to wrap it in, and obviously I can't perform a spell to clear it up…the whole darn "no magic in the hallways" rule.

Anyway, must continue with my work. I must attempt to redeem myself in Prof. Poche's eyes by getting highest marks on every essay he assigns. And I'll have plenty of opportunities, of course, because the man assigns at least fifty a week.

Not exaggerating, either.

Sept 7

I've just noticed that the blood has spread into a shape of a dolphin, if you look really closely. Hmm. Let me take a better look—see, if you look that way, it's a dolphin…wait, but if you turn my hand around and squint a bit, it could be a broomstick. Hmmm. I'm sure there's some whole advanced symbolism connecting to this—probably concluding that a huge bag of dungbombs will drop on me when Mars is in its sixth house, or something.

I can't say I care very much, though. I've never been one for divination.

Lily

Sept 7

Out of sheer boredom, when me and Minnie were lounging around in the dormitory, I asked what she thought my odd paper cut (I still haven't bothered to clean up the little spot of blood) was in the shape of.

She claimed it looked like a rocket ship. I've got conflicting signals here…

Or maybe it just proves that we are all very, very bored—bored enough to analyze the shape of my paper cut and other such "mysteries" that we will never solve.

Sadly enough.

Lily

Sept 7

I have just remembered about my mysterious note and how I'm supposed to meet "Mr. Mystery" tonight, at 12 in the common room. Itching to know who it is. Not literally, obviously. I will probably be mighty tired in the morning, but alas, life is…umm…

(this is where a wise old phrase and/or adage would be stated, but as I'm the furthest thing from wise, I don't have one, so feel free to fill in your own.)

Lily

Sept 7

I bumped into Professor Trelawney at dinner, as I was going over to the teacher's table to get some buttered sprouts and beans.

(Please don't ask. I had the urge.)

I was innocently taking my desired dish of buttered beans and sprouts, when she gets all weird and stuff. She looked up to me with wide, freakishly odd eyes (behind hugely magnified glasses that make her look rather like a startled owl) and grabbed my left hand…the hand that I'd gotten a paper cut on this morning. In fact, the blood had miraculously stayed through the day.

Whether it was a dolphin, a broomstick, a rocket ship, or something entirely different, I still had no clue. But anyway.

So she looks up at me, all wide eyed (behind freakishly large glasses, which in my opinion make her look rather like a startled owl, but I digress) and gasps dramatically.

"My dear, the metal-spiked balloons!" she says in a fearful whisper.

Metal spiked balloons? What've we got now, four different opinions? We should send a survey round Hogwarts, and just go by the majority vote, or something. Honestly.

She still had my hand clasped in her bony hands, all covered with weird jewels and stuff.

"Ummm…" was what I managed to say. Really, there wasn't much else to say.

"My dear, do you know what this symbol indicates?" she asked, still in a whisper. Honestly woman, get a grip! Everybody's shouting at dinner, no need to whisper. Anyway, she leveled her voice to a louder, dramatic and what she probably assumes "spooky" tone.

I only shook my head.

"These predict a grim, sorry life for you that will undoubtedly end in a horrendous and ill-timed murder by an unwitting Hullfellamp plant! You must beware, dear, when Mars and Venus conflict! That is when you will be in the most danger!" she now had gotten a really loud voice.

I fought to hold back my laughter. Professor McGonagall looked over from the other side of the table.

"Really, Sibyll, I highly doubt that Miss Evans here will die from what you claim to be a "death by a Hullfellamp plant." There are no plants of this sort in Hogwarts." McGonagall said.

"Ah, Minerva, I would not speak, for you too are in for an untimely death!" the old bat screeched.

Then Dumbledore joined in the conversation by saying "Sibyll, I am sure nobody shall be dying—at least, not today. Kindly pass the mashed potatoes, they're looking rather good today?" he said with a twinkle in his eye.

The lady is clearly off her rocker. Well, what else is new, really?

Lily

Sept 7

Back in bed at around one o'clock, after the evening's rather "interesting" events.

And very, very odd.

So at 12 at night, I snuck back down to the common room. It wasn't exactly difficult to get away from Minnie and Tessa…they were both blissfully slumbering away, like two sacks of potatoes.

Wow, that was random.

Anyway, I waited for fifteen minutes. It's quite eerie, actually—the firelight was beginning to dim and there were shadows being cast all over the common room.

Then I heard footsteps…I'm not lying, either. They scared the living daylights out of me and suddenly somebody said simply, "Hello, Lily." In my ear.

I must have jumped about a foot. Well, I couldn't exactly jump, for I was sitting on a couch. Maybe I could have blasted off my bum with the help of some Fire whiskey or something. Like a rocket ship. But you get my point.

I turned and it was who of all people? James.

I was a touch shocked. "Are you a little scared, Evans?" James teased.

Of course I was…but I said "No, of course not, Potter."

"Good." He said. "Now…let's go."

"Go where?" I asked. He held up this weird silvery thing…a sheet of material that seemed almost liquid, it moved so fluidly.

"You'll see." He winked.

Does he really think I'm one of those simpering Hufflepuffs who are utterly charmed by his winks? Does he honestly think I am a member of his fan club? If he thinks that, he's been living under a rock for the better part of his life. Well, I am most certainly NOT charmed by him and/or his accompanying winks. He has the crappest winks known to humanity.

He explained to me about the "invisibility cloak" deal. We set off under it…and the boy STILL refused to tell me where in the world he was leading me.

I was soooo afraid as we navigated through the darkness…it was like my heart was not a heart, but a cannon. I had to stand right pressed into that stupid Potter. I had half a mind to just leave but sadly I'd probably get caught by Filch.

After awhile of creeping about in the darkened hallways, I had no clue where in the world we were. Potter apparently did, though, because we reached this portrait with a picture of some odd eighteenth century witch. I didn't pay much attention to her. I was too confused. After all, I really was in need of my scone and tea. I feared that my stomach's rather loud rumblings might wake up the whole castle. Happily, they did not.

Anyway, James whispered, "Acid Lollipop" to the witch in the portrait, who nodded and swung forward. Wordlessly we entered…

No, not candy land or a land where children lie laughing on grassy meadows, with butterflies landing charmingly on their noses, and the golden sun warming their shoulders. No, not the land where antelopes roam and seldom is heard a discouraging word…or however that song goes.

It was a rather nice room, outfitted all in red and gold. The ceiling was red and gold striped, the rug had a similar pattern. There were chair with red-painted wood and gold pillows…and chairs with gold-painted wood and red pillows…okay, I think you get the point. There were various couches, still in our lovely house colors, and a low red table in the middle of the room. There were two doors adjacent to the room—a gold one, and a red one (what a surprise, not!).

There were even some sweets on the low red table—in red and gold foil. I grabbed one to satisfy my hunger. It wasn't a scone and tea, sure, but it'd have to do.

Gryffindor heaven, sure. But what in the world _was_ it?

"What in the world is it?" I asked brilliantly, staring at the gold-and-red chandelier, which was emitting some warm golden light.

"The heads room!" he said as though it were obvious. I inwardly smacked my head. I'd read about heads rooms in _Hogwarts, a History_.

We sat down on opposite couches—me on the red one, him on the gold.

"So why did you choose 12 at night to show me it, hmmm?" I asked, annoyed.

"I dunno." He said lazily, flashing that irritating smile that he thinks is so heart melting. Well, it's NOT, Mr. Potter! My heart is as cold as ice cream. NON MELTING ICE CREAM.

I also noted another small door—striped red and gold, whoa!

"Well, what're all the doors for?" I asked.

"They lead into rooms." He clarified. Har, har, Potter. Like, I had no clue at all. Doors leading into rooms? Completely far-fetched. You must be kidding.

"Yes, but rooms for WHAT?" I asked, attempted not to lose my temper.

"Well, one for you, one for me. Beds in them, so we can work together in here, and not have to trek all the way back to our dormitories. And that" (he pointed to the stripy door) "is the bathroom."

In a moment of utter childishness, I leapt up and ran to the gold door and opened it. "I want this one!" I said. It was beautiful—furniture all in gold with red trimming.

"Ah, but I'm afraid that's my room, Evans." James said, walking over. How dare he? It was MINE! As everybody knows, if you claim it first, it's YOURS. Well, obviously everybody knows with a brain. Which excludes Potter. So maybe I shouldn't have been so harsh.

Anyway the short and long of it is I shoved him and he shoved me…and I wasn't expecting it so I fell on top of the gold-colored sheets on the bed…and he fell on top of me. Stupid bastard! I bet it was on purpose.

Momentarily all I could see were his hazel eyes and feel his chest rise and fall against me. Urgh…! I don't want to think about this. We were completely silent.

"My room, Evans." He smirked. Urgh, the idiot. I stalked off into the other room. Urgh. He was on TOP of me, ewww! Well, I suppose it could have been worse. He smells like aftershave…at least not Snape's signature greasy-turnip scent. Or maybe Greasy Turnip is a type of very fancy boy aftershave. Perhaps boys adore it. I wouldn't know, being a girl myself.

"Fine, Potter! This room's much nicer, anyway!" I shouted.

Which is completely untrue. Red clashes with my hair. But hey ho, we can't all tell the truth all the time, can we?

Lily

A/N: I'm not sure how much I liked that chapter…well, you guys will tell me, won't you? Thanks.

**As always…reviews make me write so much quicker…be it comments, suggestions, rambles, etc, or whatever, I appreciate it SO much. So if you want a chapter soon…please review.** It's the driving force that keeps me writing…

Anyway, loads of thank you to my marvelous reviewers: **Queen Tigress**: I'm glad you liked that line. **Bloodwyne**, **moon-fan-101**, **lilMissBrandybuck**: I can sympathize too, being a redhead myself as well! **Charmingly-holly**: Glad you liked the ink fight, it was SO much fun to write! **Mooncheese**: I'm glad you liked the fic...hope you liked this chapter too. **Taniita**, Vanessa**-Black and Zabini**: Yup, here's an update, even if you can't review it! **PhoenixPlume**, **theKRITIC**: Yeah, I guess we have different ways of imagining Lily. I don't think one or another is right…it's just the point of view of the author. Also, why do you want Tessa to "die"? How does it clash with JKR's story if somebody goes out with Sirius? And also, you just found out what happened with the secret note. **Siriuscomet**: Awww, thanks! **Dodgergirly7**: Thanks! I'm glad you think it's funny! **DancingPandaa**: Sorry, I'll try to write more Remus, but there won't be AS much of him as say, James. Anyway, glad you liked the chapters! **Jeran**: Oooh, thanks for the imaginary muffins! I love muffins. Also thanks for thinking the story's funny. But I don't know about a beta reader…do you know any good ones? Or where I could, like, advertise for one? Ok, I hope you liked the chapter! **Skippy**, **crazy turtle**: Hmmm, you'll see what the unicorns do… (winks) **JadeGreen14**, **tonksss **


	4. The Tarantula

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and co, created by J.K Rowling, does not in the slightest degree belong to me. Case closed.

**Lily's Diary**

Sept 15

Aaaaack. My life could not get any worse. Urgh.

Lily

Sept 15

Fine, fine! I'll tell, I'll tell, don't get yourselves all worked up about it. Well, not that I'm writing to anybody here but myself, but hey ho. Whatever.

Lily

Sept 15

Alright, so this is what went down (I sound so western…):

We were in the lovely and oh-so-exciting class of transfiguration that I just excel at (not). It was this really difficult lesson about changing alligators to pianos…now, don't ask me WHY.

So each of us had a rather large alligator, disgustingly slimy and very huge (I was praying it wouldn't get hungry and just bite a chunk of my ankle off as a bit of a mid-morning snack), chained to our desk. They were all varying large sizes but mine was absolutely ENOURMOUS. Its eyes were all scary and yellow…resembling a rather lovely spoiled mustard shade, but okay…

It was like this in-class test, almost. She pointed to each one of us, row by row, and we had to (hopefully) change the alligator into a piano.

She pointed to this random boy named Clive first, and he pointed to his snapping alligator, and said, "Erptillus Matreelus!" The alligator changed into a piano, but what was supposed to wood was green alligator-print skin. McGonagall made a note in her grading book.

So, she went down the rows, and my heart was beating faster every passing second…like a cannon ball was enclosed in there, without my knowledge. Well, I wouldn't put it past Minnie, she'd think it was utterly hilarious…but anyway…

She came to James Potter, who lazily said, "Erptillus Matreelus." and of course his alligator changed into a lovely, polished wood piano. UGH, how I hate the boy! It just isn't fair…HE gets a normal, nice piano…but I get…

So she nodded to me. I swallowed and I could swear my hands were like ice or something.

I pointed to the alligator (which was looking at me in a very menacing way…) and said quite forcefully, "Erptillus Matreelus!"

And then…

Urgh, I'm not sure if I want to recount this "adventure".

But I will, for the…erm….good of mankind?

Ok, whatever, it sounded good.

Anyway, so what happened next was this. There was this loud popping sound and the alligator's body changed into a piano…but then. But then I noticed two extraordinarily important things (well, no, three I think)

a. The piano…had alligator legs! Right attached to the wood of the piano

b. It also had snapping teeth instead of the keys, which were playing out rather odd melodies at random intervals…

c. The whole huge mess of a monster that I had created was also flashing silver and gold at random moments, and I had not a clue as to why.

Oh, why me?

So the…thing, I guess….started snapping and charging at an astonished McGonagall…everybody took cover on top of their desks. McGonagall swiftly changed the thing back into a normal alligator.

Ugh. I mean, I know I'm bad at transfiguration, but THIS? I unleashed a snapping, running, scarily piano-alligator thing! Well, maybe that will be my career in life. Forget charms, and all. I'll do spells on things like tea kettles, and they will be supposed to turn into chipmunks but they'll turn into a furry, hopping, madly whistling chrome specimen…I could create a new zoo! And breed the oddest creatures possible. I'm sure I would be outstanding at it.

Lily

Sept 15

Oh, forgot to mention this:

Potter came up to me after class, when my cheeks were at the height of their flaming. Really, you could have just stuck a marshmallow on my cheek and you'd have it roasted. I'm quite nifty, I must say, if you need a blazing fire handy for roasting s'mores.

So he was all, "Do you want me to tutor you in Transfiguration?"

I looked like him as if he was crazy. Well, the boy undoubtedly IS crazy. But that's beside the point.

Anybody who offers to tutor me in Transfiguration should be in a nice safe mental ward. Really. I'd probably end up unleashing a porcupine permanently attached to a pogostick on him, or something equally horrendous.

And you know the weirdest thing of the whole ordeal?

Possibly because I really can't afford to fail Transfiguration…

I said yes.

Oh, Lord, what have I gotten myself into?

Lily

Sept 15

I plead temporary insanity. After all, the snapping-teeth/charging crocodile could have crushed anybody's sanity to bits.

Lily

Sept 15

Not that I had any sanity to begin with, but whatever.

Lily

Sept 17

It's not all that it's cracked up to be, being a Head Girl. All I seem to do is patrol corridors and snap at snogging couples.

Ah well, at least I'm getting exercise.

Lily

Sept 17

Although today the snogging couple I found was Sirius and some girl from Hufflepuff. They were snogging quite passionately in the Transfiguration hallway. It's just Sirius's new flavor of the week. He'll dump her within 2-5 days, I'm betting you.

This is kind of why Minnie and I are holding back on setting Tessa up with Sirius…because he's such a player, and all. Even though they'd look utterly adorable together…I so see it…

Although it might be odd having Mr. Prat's Best Friend dating Tessa. (PratPotter. Keep up, will you?).

Oh well, we have to…umm….sacrifice our time and our feelings for others at times, don't we?

(Don't remind me that when I try to sound wise and self-sacrificing I sound really really messed up.)

Lily

Sept 19

Patrolling once again…really, when does it ever stop? My legs are dying, here.

I ran into Potter, also patrolling. I saw him lazily open the door, see a furiously snogging couple (some Hufflepuffs—a girl with blonde curly hair, who I think is called Amy, and some boy…), and winks encouragingly at them, shutting the door.

Seriously. He is so neglecting his Head Boy duties! I know myself that it's rather awkward snapping at snogging couples to break apart, but he just goes on encouraging them!

"Lily!" Potter cried jovially, walking over to me.

"Potter. You're supposed to reprimand the couples, not going around cheering them on and stuff!" I said, giving him my best "stern Head Girl" glare. I must say I've perfected it in the past week…probably because of my excess time spent patrolling the corridors.

"Ah, come on, let them have some fun, why don't you?" James said with an easy smile.

"It's not about fun, it's about fulfilling your Heads duties!" I screeched, exasperated and thoroughly annoyed. Being around Potter for even a minute does that to you. Gets you annoyed and irritable, I mean. Not to mention extraordinarily screechy. I probably sounded like an escaped crow from a zoo.

Or maybe a parakeet. Do those screech? I've never really been a bird watcher or anything.

Anyway, moving on.

"I'm just helping cultivate blossoming relationships, it's all for the good of mankind, really." James sang out cheerily.

What in the world was the boy talking about? The world may never know, alas.

I stood, looking at him as if he was crazy. Which he undoubtedly is.

"You only live once, after all." He stated, walking off happily and bouncily (probably to wink and hand out snogging technique packets to other couples).

Which is true. You only live once. If that's true, why am I patrolling corridors in the dead of night and trying out various facial expressions to suits of steel armor?

The world may never know.

Lily

Sept 20

Passing notes in History of Magic, again.

(normal type is Lily, _italics is Tessa, _and underlined is Minnie)

Guys, I'm BORED. 

Aren't we all.

_Guys, shhhh! I want to learn about the goblins' proclamation of independence. _

Is this the real Tessa? You're an imposter, aren't you? You've got the real Tessa up in our dormitory closet and tied her to a chair and put duct tape over her mouth, haven't you?

Yes, because the REAL Tessa never pays attention in class. She does, at times, paint her nails under the desk to pass the time, but never pays attention. 

_Guys, I'm JOKING. _

Oh.

I'm still bored.

Ditto.

_Eurgh. _

Sept. 20

Tessa and I were discussing how we must organize a birthday party for Minnie. Her birthday's Septemeber the 31st, after all. We've only got eleven short days.

And still no ideas…or presents, for that matter.

Lily

Sept 21

Sirius overheard me and Tessa discussing Minnie's figurative party. Why do I say figurative, you ask? Well, because we have utterly NO arrangements made, even though her birthday's in ten days.

"I could get some butterbeers and drinks and snacks and such from the kitchen, if you'd like me to." He offered. "I couldn't say no to such lovely ladies."

Which is kind of messed up, because HE'S the one who even offered first….it's not like we were all, "Oh, Sirius, darling! Will you please giggle help us giggle with getting giggle giggle giggle supplies for Minnie's birthday party?" bursts into a fit of attractive giggles. (This is the typical Hufflepuff-speak when they flirt with the likes of Sirius or James).

But anyway, all's well in the world because we accepted…so he's bringing the refreshments.

Why do I have a feeling that this is going to go horribly wrong?

He'll probably put an expanding charm in a chocolate frog, or something, so we all blow up like balloons and float about in the common room. Ah, well, it'd be quite handy really, the idea of human balloons—we wouldn't even need to by real decorations! Just eat a chocolate frog, and hey presto—you've got a blown-up Lily floating about the common room!

But somebody might try to pop me with a needle, or something, which I am sure would be fairly painful. So let's nix the human balloons idea. Oh, well.

I've said it before and I'll say it again—I've got way, way, way, WAY too much creative energy pent up in this mind of mine.

Perhaps I should channel this force into…a form of creative expression. But no, I've got creative expression—haven't you heard about my various "faces" that I practice while patrolling? I've even got a handy little audience of some materialistic, non living objects—some suits of armor.

They're not real talkers, but I'm sure they're just shy or something.

Lily

Sept 22

Potter and I must begin planning the Halloween ball…and therefore we are meeting in the Heads rooms to plan. Oh, overwhelming joy—spending more time with Potter.

Lily

Sept 22

We have just finished discussing the merits and negatives of pumpkins bewitched to cackle at everyone, and are heading off to our separate rooms to sleep.

Of course HE has the gold one. Harrumph. I told you, red clashes horribly with my hair, but I'm just going to have to deal with it.

It's kind off odd…you know, sleeping in the room across from Potter's. Whatever. It's 12:30 and I'm tired…discussing streams of bats for too long does that to a person. Going to bed.

Lily

Sept 22

Aaaagh.

SO embarrassed and…embarrassed. I am mortified.

I may just have to stay in this red room for the rest of my life, even if it does happen to clash with my hair. That is just the price I will have to pay.

Lily

Sept 22

Really. I could get my toast with blackberry-and-apricot jam sent up to this room every morning, from the kitchens. Living between these four, scarlet walls for ever. And ever. I'll grow old here. Everybody will probably forget about me, in time.

Lily

Sept 22

Fine. I'll tell, but I'll probably have to burn these pages in the common room fire (if I ever dare to venture out of this room again…which is unlikely).

Oh my gosh. So mortified.

So I'd gone to bed…and was sleeping quite peacefully and nicely, till I felt a sort of tickly furry thing on my face.

I open my eyes, and what is just hanging around on my face…a bloody TARANTULA!

Now, anybody that knows me, knows that I HATE spiders in any shape or form. They just scare me to pieces, I don't really know why.

So I realized it was a tarantula and screamed bloody murder. It was SCARY, after all! What would YOU do if you'd been innocently sleeping and you wake up with a TARANTULA just kind of peacefully standing their on your CHEEK?

I guess it must have been extraordinarily loud (my friends DO say my screams resemble that of a banshee's and are so high-pitched that they could easily shatter glass), because who comes in to save the day?

James…in nothing but a pair of sweatpants.

The boy isn't any less of an annoying prat, however, just because has a six-pack. His chest is rather nicely defined, but he's still NUMERO UNO on the official prat list.

I'm not one of those simpering girls who fall apart by seeing a guy's chest, even if it does have a six pack.

So he comes in, and says all urgently, "What's the matter?" and there's a lot of confused shrieking (coming from my end of the conversation, naturally).

He notices the tarantula on my cheek (which is not at all fazed by the shrieking girl it is sitting on) and plucks it off, throwing it out the open window.

How could he touch it? Eurgh.

So I'm still all shocked and scared and he's just…standing there.

Of course that is when I realized I'm wearing an utterly SHEER white tank top with a lacy black bra under it. AHHH! I pull a blanket over me. James is still staring at me.

I was feeling a bit foolish…I mean, it was just a tarantula, and he probably thought I was being murdered or something like that.

So we just kind of stared at each other for a while. It would have been funny, actually, had the situation not been so, well, bizarre!

"It's just a tarantula, you know." He said.

"Yes, well, I don't like them." I replied defensively.

"Yes, I can tell. You screamed bloody murder, you practically shattered my eardrums." He commented, sitting down (uninvited) on a red chair.

"Oh…er, sorry."

I know what you are thinking. Me, apologizing to POTTER? I was probably just shook up because of the tarantula incident. That's it. Temporary insanity all over again.

"No problem." He said amusedly.

There was nothing to be AMUSED about. I could have, like, died of fright from the scary thing!

"Well…thanks, you know, for getting rid of the tarantula and all." I said awkwardly.

"Yeah…that's me, pest control services."

He stood up. "Good night."

"Night." I said.

The boy practically saw me in my bra! ACK!

And only now I realize that my hair probably closely resembled a bird's nest.

Whatever, you can't have it all, can you?

Lily

A/N: Sorry that was a little shorter than usual…urgh. I'm home sick from school so I had time to finish this chapter. Anyway…I hope you liked the chapter and everything…I must say I totally relate to the spider/tarantula fear, and that's partly where I got the idea. Whenever I see a spider in my house, I shriek really loud until somebody comes and kills it for me. Haha.

Ok…well…**review, please! I love reviews as always…and they help me write SO much faster.** So…please review? Thanks.

(Oh, and my added bonus of imaginary cupcakes with chocolate or vanilla icing with sprinkles!)

And now, onto review responses…you guys rock!

**Queen Tigress**: Glad you liked it…, **flying turd**, **Jeran**: Awww, thanks a bunch for the imaginary cake! I'm sure it's lovely. I'm very sorry about the Trelawney mix-up…I forgot about that. But I just had to have a divination teacher stuck somewhere in there, it makes life so much more…well, interesting, **phoenix phlyt**: Thanks…I hope you liked this chapter, **crazy turtle**: Aww, thanks (blushes). James got the room because…they're both very stubborn, but Lily just got fed up with him and just let him get what he wanted., **taniita**, **DobbyGrl**, **Vanessa-Black and Zabini**: I'm glad you liked it, **little bitch**: Awww, thanks! I'm glad you thought it was funny., **LCH8292**: Me, really random? What do you mean?


	5. Marshmallows and love triangles

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related works do not belong to me, but to J.K Rowling.

**Lily's Diary**

Sept. 23

So mad at Potter again. I was going to at least SLIGHTLY forgive him for his undeniably prattish ways, but noooo, Mr. My-Head's-So-Inflated-It-Might-Just-Float-Off-My-Shoulders-At-Any-Random-Second has to mess it up.

I really should have seen it coming. Well, technically not SEEN it coming because I don't pretend to be one of those scarily dressed "I SEE your fuuuuutuuuuure young child" fortune tellers. But you know what I mean.

Or do you?

Nobody has the slightest clue of what I mean—least of all, me.

Lily

Sept 23

Fine…fine…I'll TELL, happy now? (But I've got to really find a safe burning place where this diary's ashes sorry, diary will finally lie).

I woke up on the late side of late today (today being Saturdayyy, lovely weekendish day that it is), and I was all hunched over with the covers wrapped over me. Probably my defense mechanisms for another "attack of the tarantulas".

Wow. Doesn't that really sound like a muggle movie? Attack of the Tarantulas: a horrifying story of a girl named Lily Evans, and the mystery murder that involved man-eating tarantulas—

Or maybe not. But still, you must admit you won't be surprised in a few years when you see the shocking commercials for my lovely movie.

Lily

Sept 23

Have a really just wasted ink on writing about a movie dubbed The Attack of the Tarantulas?

Urgh, I must be having a REALLY bad day.

Which I am.

Lily

Sept 23.

Ok, OKAY. I'll stop "beating around the bush"(weird expression)… and get to it.

Explaining my horrid breakfast encounter with Potter, that is.

Well, I woke up and it was all nice and I'd momentarily forgotten about the whole tarantula incident.

Not for long, but still.

I showered in the Heads' bathroom (and wrapped myself in one of the luxurious towels—mine are red, and embroidered in gold with L.E.—James's are gold, and embroidered in red with J.P—well, obviously…his name's not Harold, is it?), lalala, brushed my hair, brushed my teeth, changed…went down to breakfastio.

Oh, I was so purely oblivious about the sheer embarrassment that was about to befall me.

I sat down with Minnie and Tessa, as usual. We chatted, etc, and I didn't notice Mr. J.P. (as he is embroidered on his towels, at least) and his comrades conspiratorially talking over some scrambled eggs.

I, of course, didn't pay a bit of attention to them. As usual.

I was just innocently eating my traditional breakfast, when it happened.

I took a sip of the orange juice that had been conveniently placed before me. I assumed that Minnie or Tessa had retrieved it for me.

Oh, how wrong I was….but I didn't know it then.

So Tessa was in the middle of discussing Sally Samermuth's huge crush on Sirius Black (apparently she'd tearfully confessed this fact last night in the girls dormitory…I'm now glad I wasn't there to witness it), when IT happened.

So, I sipped the orange juice…and just as I set it down, do you know what comes floating out of it, like some spooky black-ghosty thing?

A LIFE SIZE BLACK GHOSTY-ISH FREAKY TARANTULA, IS WHAT!

I was so freaked out that I knocked over the orange juice, which spilled all over my toast with the jams (not making a very appetizing picture, all in all).

So I shrieked and everybody was just sort of…staring at the, well…thing is the most effective word, I guess.

It floated upwards, like some magic balloon—except that it was shaped as a spider, but no matter, you get my gist.

Everybody at the table was staring at it, almost hypnotized. We just kind of watched it float up and enlarge slowly in the air. We were all in shock, I suppose.

The only people who weren't gaping at the—thing—in surprise was the Dynamic Duo times two (equals four…) a.k.a. the Marauders. They in fact were cackling… although none of them have visible warts or green skin, they surely sound like those comical witches that muggles portray.

This should have given me some clue, but you've got to have a little mercy on me. I mean, it isn't every day that a ghostly spider floats out of your orange juice!

Our (meaning everybody at the table) eyes were going up, and up, watching the progress of that darned ghost-like tarantula. It went up, and up and up…and it kept getting larger, till it was the size of maybe a beach ball… we were all craning our heads back to see…

POOF!

Then it exploded with a pop, and everybody simultaneously shrieked. Black sparks rained down—effectively ruining my carefully crafted toast creation.

What a morning.

Lily

Sept. 23

I talked to Minnie later; she explained that Sirius, Remus and James had transfigured a piece of toast into—into—into the ghostly black tarantula-thing.

I don't know what, exactly, this means—probably that I will fear toast eternally.

Hopefully not, because that would ruin my seven-years-and-counting breakfast regimen of blackberry and apricot jams on toast.

And that would be a shame.

Lily

Sept. 23

It's night, and I'm really in dire need for my scone and tea. Minnie's snoring resembles a vacuum cleaner (and a very loud one, at that…), and Tessa is falling asleep over her Potions homework.

I don't really have the heart to wake either of the sad, pathetic losers I call my friends (just joking) up.

Also, I need to find Sirius…to confirm the details of the food and etc. for Minnie's party (we still have practically zero plans for it…agggghhhh!).

I wouldn't put it past him to be in the kitchen, holding all the elves at gunpoint for them to surrender all their chocolate éclairs and marshmallows, and whatnot.

Well, maybe not THAT far, but you catch my drift.

I really am risking my Head Girl status here…ah well, live on the wild side…wait, no, walk on the wild si--…whatever, go bloody join a circus on the wild side, for all I care.

The point is, I'm going to the kitchens.

Wish me luck, 'cause I'm sure I'll need a few truckloads of it.

Lily

Sept. 23.

Weirdest kitchen experience, by far.

Oh, my gosh. I CANNOT believe…THAT happened.

Oh, my goodness.

It was so…ok, I'll just tell the thing.

After all…I was greeted by an overly enthusiastic: "Giglio!"

Okay, okay, I'll back up a little.

I entered the kitchen, and was in the process of making my lovely tea, when I hear somebody shout happily, "Giglio!"

And who was it?

Sirius, with a whole huge hoard of every variety of marshmallows imaginable spread out in front of him. He waved merrily, and I looked at him as if he had three heads.

After all, the name isn't Giglio. I thought he might've learned that over the course of seven fun-filled years at Hogwarts.

He wasn't about to start calling Hogwarts Hogwartsio or something?

I set down my scone and tea, on the other head side of the long table that's usually set up in the kitchens.

Undeterred, Sirius replied: "Come sta andando?"

I must say that I was performing my, if I do say so myself, very accurate "gaping-fish" sort of expression. It's one of my best.

" James ha messo un potion di lingua italiana su me!"

Right when I heard the word "James", I knew there would be trouble. I attempted communicating with Sirius, who looked undeterred at his foreign language.

"What did James do, Sirius?" I asked exasperatedly.

"Ho detto già, giglio caro... che ha messo un potion di lingua italiana su me!" he explained, waving his hands for extra emphasis. I took a calming sip of tea.

"Now, Sirius." I began in my best Head-Girlish sort of voice (I've been practicing that as well. You know, I've got a lot of time on my hands while I patrol.), "Can you stop speaking in…is it Italian?"

"No, ma io non desidererebbe smettere di parlarlo anche se potessi!" he said, still making not a bit of sense.

Still, this wasn't out of the ordinary, really…Sirius never makes sense.

Perhaps that's why he's friends with James.

"One word answers, please! A nod or a shake of the head would do just fine. Now: can you speak in English?" I said authoritatively.

"No. Presto, comunque." Sirius said, shaking his head. His black hair flopped over his eyes in the process, making him look rather cute—in a puppy-speaking-italian sort of way.

EW. Did I just say that I thought Sirius Black was CUTE?

This diary must be burned immediately.

"Can you…try to speak in English?" I asked, totally unsure about what to do. After all, it's not every day that you see a fellow student spouting off in a foreign language.

"Proverò." He said cheerfully.

"Ok, um…" I replied.

"Non è il...my…italiano…perfect?"

I sighed in relief. Finally, a word in English!

"Yes…your Italian's good." I said dutifully.

"sì…I mean, yes…I know!" Sirus replied, grinning cheekily.

"So what happened?"

"James put an Italian speaking potion in my pumpkin juice." Sirius replied cheerfully. "Bloody great idea—but I'll get him back, you see…I'll give him a sonnet-speaking potion in HIS pumpkin juice!"

I grinned.

"Great idea." I said, biting into my scone.

"Yes, I know!" Sirius said, chewing on a bit of marshmallow. "I've been planning it since last year, and now I've got the opportune moment." He paused. "Want some marshmallow?"

I was acting really civilly towards Black, which was odd, but I guess the scone and tea really pacify me. Which was probably why I replied, "Sure." And walked over and took the chair next to him.

"Here, I've got a whole variety!" Sirius announced and indeed he did. Foot-long ones, in all shapes in sizes, charmed to be different colors, in different flavors…a typical boy's heaven, to sum it up.

Although I don't mind marshmallows, myself.

Lalala.

This is the part where it got tricky. Eeeeek, it's painful retelling it…aggghhh…but these are the, um, pains we must, go through to be successful in life?

Okay, wrong wise saying.

I sort of stared at Sirius's vast marshmallow collection for a second, astounded. There was easily a lifetime supply.

"Bet I can eat this faster than you, Lily!" Sirius taunted, holding out a foot-long marshmallow.

It was almost like one of those strings of connected sausages.

Only, you know, they were…not sausages. They were marshmallows, but a foot-long string of them.

"Not a chance, Black!" I responded.

"Still on surnames, are we?" he asked, applying his "heart-breaking grin" as he probably classifies it.

For the record, my heart is perfectly intact so it is a NON WORKING heart-breaking smile. But anyway.

"Afraid so."

Oh gosh, now that I write it all down, it sounds as if I was FLIRTING with him…aaggghhh. With Sirius Black, no less!

Well, for the record, I was not. Not flirting with Sirius Black, that is. I would more likely flirt with a doorknob.

"Fine." Sirius said, putting on a fake injured look.

I couldn't help but giggle. After all, he looked so comical.

"Okay…so we'll both try to eat towards the middle. We'll each have one side of it in our mouths. Whoever gets the middle first…is the WINNER!" Sirius declared dramatically, brandishing the string of marshmallows for effect.

The middle marshmallow had turned a deep violet, so you could tell when you got to the middle.

"Fine, Black."

Not my usual activity at 11:30ish at night, but hey, whatever.

So we each took the opposite ends of the string of marshmallow in our mouths. Sirius counted down, which was a bit of a laugh really, as he had a marshmallow in his mouth as he counted.

His "count-down" sounded somewhat like this: "Ffhhave! Fphhhaur! Tmphhree! Ffffoo! Ffffffwwwaaan!"

Then we each started gobbling the thing down. It was good, to be sure. And I realized, as I was madly chewing…that…well, our LIPS might meet at the middle.

Of course, I couldn't just call off the whole thing in the middle of all-out chomping! It's, like, against the Marshmallow-Eating Constitute or something. Whatever, you just can't stop eating it.

So, I just focused on eating as quickly as I could, in effort to reach that darned violet deathtrap in front of me.

Anyway, I guess Sirius isn't credited as being "The Fastest Eater On The Face Of The Earth" for nothing…as he had reached the violet marshmallow a second before me.

He stayed there, though…his grey eyes just boring into me in a very…well, attractive, way…and I had barely just finished the marshmallow…when IT happened.

THE incident, is how I will refer to it from now on.

Aggh…well, I'd just finished the marshmallow and his lips were practically touching mine.

And we were just staring at eachother…it was really quite freaky…and then…our lips did touch.

He leaned in and kissed me very softly, and then I was kissing him, and his lips were very soft and sweet…like the marshmallow we'd just finished devouring…I don't know what had gotten into me.

If I hadn't made my tea myself, I would have suspected that the elves had drugged my tea, or something.

Because there I was, kissing Sirius Black in the middle of the KITCHENS, for goodness sakes! An elf could have just kind of walked in on us! DUMBLEDORE could've…anybody could've…but the person who walked in on us was…

Well, when we heard the door open we kind of dazedly pulled away from each other, still without saying a word of what had transpired.

And who walked in, but…James.

He looked at us…and said: "Sirius, are you done getting the mar—"

This was the lovely (not) moment when he noticed me.

Me and Sirius staring at each other like some lab specimen.

He gaped at us like a fish, or something.

Then he noticed the strand of marshmallow that had connected itself from Sirius's lips to mine.

James then went through three face expressions. It would have been vastly interesting, of course, had the situation not been so…well, Sirius (lovely pun, I know, and it would be immensely original had not everybody use it every two second or so, sometimes more).

The first face stage was:

1. Shock. This was the part when James noticed me. He gaped like a blowfish, or something, and his eyes went as wide as marbles, face turning an interesting ghostly white mixed with brown color.

Rather like the color of porridge when I attempt to make it.

(This cooking attempt usually ends up with the kitchen in flames, and me trying to frantically wet down the leaping flames.

If it's a really interesting time, the fire fighters come, too, but let's not recount that now, er, okay?)

2. Horrification. (Wow, had no idea that was a word). His eyes went all rolly because they traveled down, and up, and down, and up, and down, and up, and…ok, you get the point…well, anyway, he noticed the darned strand of marshmallow leading from my to

Sirius's mouth.

3. The final, and foremost stage of expression was: Hurt.

I even felt kind of bad for him at this stage, which is saying something major, as I NEVER feel badly for James Potter. It simply isn't done.

Then he abruptly left the room as soon as he came.

Oh, great: Now I'm in a 'love triangle' with two of Hogwarts' most 'eligible bachelors' (Hufflepuffs' words, not mine).

Sirius and I then broke away really quickly, and Sirius started muttering to himself. Well, if nothing else than being an amazing kisser, the boy does have a rather wide vocabulary of some very colorful swearwords.

"I'll talk to you—" Sirius said rushedly, putting his hand on my shoulder, and then we simultaneously sprinted from the room.

The Damned Room Of Marshmallows, I should call it now.

Even though 'of' isn't supposed to be capitalized—I've just been through an experience here, people, don't berate me for incorrect grammar!

Agh.

Lily

A/N: Hey!

Um, hope you liked it. I'm honestly very tired and as such will not make the author's note horribly long.

However…I just wanted to say, that if you want me to consistently update, then you must review. I don't want to be greedy but I've got a lot of things I have to do (as well as my other story…Love is a Funny Thing) so if nobody really likes it, well then…ok. Anyway, as I was saying, review and tell me honestly your opinion. : - )

'Kay, well thanks a bunch to my reviewers. I won't do responses as I'm too tired. Ok, here goes to: **Vanessa-Black and Zabini, HarryluvsMoaningMyrtle, QueenTigress, Jamie Leigh, Senora** and **DobbyGrl**.


	6. FiretruckRed

Disclaimer: Once, in a far-away land where unicorns and dragons roamed free, there lived a girl. This girl wrote Harry Potter fanfiction. Surprisingly enough, Harry Potter did not belong to her! What a surprise! I wonder who the girl is? (hint, hint…)

(To make it simple: Harry Potter and all associated works do not belong to me).

**Lily's Diary**

Sept. 23

I am so dead.

More dead than Professor Binns, even, and he's been dead…well, for what must have been forever and a half.

Somebody just kill me now, will you? It'll save me from my horrible pain and misery that I will undoubtedly suffer…

I can live the rest of my life as a shameful ghost, probably old and bitter, haunting students and spending the rest of my life locked up in an out of order stall, in the girls' washrooms.

I'll become Myrtle (or Moaning Myrtle)'s new best friend. We'll have wonderfully fascinating discussions about the…um…finer points of death.

My new home will be a grimy, but rather lovely toilet seat.

What a life I'll lead. They'll call me…Loner Lily.

I'm looking forward to my future title as Loner Lily, the ghost. It'll be quite refreshing, I'm sure. I won't be kissing my friend's crushes (or possible crushes) under the influence of marshmallows. It will probably all be for the greater good, really.

Visit me in the stall next to Myrtle when you can spare the time, won't you?

Loner Lily, the freak ghost

Sept. 23

You know what, that'll be my future title, from now on. I SO deserve it, argh.

Now that I think of it, we must get those monogrammed towels in the Heads' bathroom changed. Mine will be LL, not LE.

Agggghhh. Do I tell Minnie, Tessa, both, neither? AGGGHHHH!

It's the right thing to do—to tell them, I mean. But what if Tessa suddenly turns into a madman with a shiny silver axe, and waits to kill me when I'm asleep?

No, she wouldn't do that…

She'd probably use a spear instead.

LL

Sept. 24

Officially dead.

I must now assume my title of "Loner Lily".

Tessa has found out.

I feel horrible.

I don't know why I'm talking in short sentences.

Deal with it.

I am under emotional stress.

A lot of it.

LL

Sept. 24

So, I got back to the dormitory last night…they were both slumbering all peacefully, I didn't want to wake them up.

Somebody told her…agh, it's like national gossip! I bet even the Minister of Magic has been sent a couple dozen owls on the matter. The Daily Prophet will print it as a headline article, next. It'll be:

Lily Evans (or Loner Lily, as she will be called hereafter) Betrays Best Friend, Tessa, By Kissing Tessa's Crush

Rather long title, but so informative.

Minnie talked to me about it (about the 135th one, really).

She said, very logically (oh, how I wish I was logical!)—"Lily."

I said, "Yes?" (Brilliant comment, I know, I know.

She said, "Why'd you kiss Sirius?"

No beating around the bush, that girl.

"Agh! I feel horrible about it!" I responded. My face must have resembled a mutated hag's, because she looked at me sort of funny.

"So, why'd you do it?" she asked again.

"I…"

Good question there, Minn. Way to put me on the spot.

She looked at me, waiting for an answer. Well, what if I had 2-second memory, like a goldfish? It'd make life a zillion times easier for me. I could just forget the horrid question and never have to answer.

Wow, you know things have hit rock bottom when you've started envying GOLDFISH.

Lily

Sept. 25

Am sitting here (in History of Magic) like a dead fish, all floppy (although I surely hope I don't smell) and… well, I feel nearly dead, I'm so bored.

Haha. Very fitting, that is, because in just my last entry, I remarked how I envied goldfish so very much.

It's a huge aquarium we all live in, really.

And the whole kissing-Sirius incident proves that I have the practically nonexistent brain of a fish.

Because if I WASN'T a fish, I totally would have realized how WRONG it was to kiss my friend's sort of-crush (even though she hadn't confessed it, it's bound to be her crush anyway).

You could probably fit my brain in a thimble.

Or maybe it would fall out and rattle about in the thimble, because it's probably so small.

My fish-brain's probably tiny. It's probably microscopic. It's like a little speck floating about in my head, and it isn't useful at all.

Ah, I've got to stop blaming my horrible choices on "fish-brains" and stuff.

I think I've gone much too long without Minnie and Tessa to keep me sane.

And it's only been…what, two days?...and I'm already discussing my microscopic brain, how we are really all half-fish, half-people, how the whole world is a huge aquarium, and thimbles thrown in there.

I really need to make up with them, soon.

If I don't…well, by the end of the week I'll have probably gone crazy. Stuck my wand into the potatoes at dinner, or something, and make them explode all over the Great Hall.

Or turn everybody into fish.

Wow, I have way too much thinking time here.

Lily

Sept. 25

I was sitting here, just pleasantly acting the part of a dead fish…when a note suddenly appeared on my desk, on the special note paper.

Anyway, I opened it up:

_Lily,_

_Meet me after class so we can talk? _

_-Sirius_

Agggh, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

But of course, I didn't write: "Agggh, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO." Because that would deem me very immature and anti-facing-my-problems.

Which I am, but let's just put that teeny fact aside for the moment.

I wrote back:

_Sure. _

_-Lily_

I am the girl of Few but Wise Words.

That sounds really Indian.

Although 'Sure' and 'Lily' aren't very wise, advice-ish words.

Whatever.

It sounded good, at least.

Lily

Sept. 25

Met Sirius after class let out. Heart was fluttering like a butterfly.

Only my heart doesn't have wings.

Well, it'd be useful if it did. It could fly away, far away and take me with it. That way, I could get away with not confronting the Boy I Kissed And Therefore Betrayed My Friend In Doing So.

A.k.a. Sirius.

He just made my heart pound worse, though. His eyes…they're all warm and nice, like liquid chocolate.

Anyway, he smiled down at me and I smiled up at him.

No, this sounds way too much like a cheesy romance novels from the '70s, when people wore bright purple tights as exercise pants, and when tye-dye was in.

Okay, anyway. Back to the story.

So, yeah, we've gone over the smiling part. And then he said, all mysteriously, "Wait here for a second."

Meaning wait outside the History of Magic room, because that's where we were standing then.

I felt really badly, though, when Tessa and Minnie exited. They didn't even say a Hello.

I mean, do I smell THAT bad?

Lily

Sept. 25

Okay, anyway. Back to the story.

So I was standing there like a nitwit outside the History of Magic classroom. Everybody else had left. People probably thought I was a freak for standing there; well, they wouldn't be wrong—I am a quite freakish girl.

And proud of it.

No, not really, but anyway.

He came back to me…arms laden with…

Sandwiches, and…

Marshmallow?

Must everybody on this universe remind me of the life-wrecking marshmallow-induced kiss?

The answer seems to be a resounding YES.

Still, it was sweet of him. I took the plate, and looked inquisitively up at him. (He's TALL).

"Shall we eat outside?" he asked.

I nodded, and we set off.

Outside it was all nice and sunny, unusual for a September day. Many groups of friends had situated themselves outside—Tessa and Minnie included. We sat near a tree, so I was in the sun and he was in the shade.

I love sun.

We ate, chatting about this and that. He really makes you feel all happy and at ease when you talk to him.

"Hey, your hair looks so red in the sun!" Sirius said, placing his plate down on the grass. He picked up a tendril of my long hair, glinting brightly in the sunlight.

"It IS RED, silly."

"Well, actually RED, not orangey." He amended, still playing with the lock.

"People said it's the color of a fire truck." I said ruefully.

Forgetting, of course, that Sirius was a pure blooded wizard and had no clue whatsoever about anything muggle-related.

"What's that?" he inquired curiously. I could have almost laughed at the look of his face, but I didn't.

"It's—well, in the muggle world, there're people—called firefighters—who come and put fires out and go into the burning buildings and save people. They ride in a bright crimson truck. That's a fire truck. People say my hair's that color."

Sirius looked fascinated, still marveling at my hair.

"Why don't they just put it out with their wands?" he questioned, twirling my hair between his thumb and index finger.

"They don't HAVE wands, they're muggles, silly!" I explained, laughing. Sirius laughed too.

It was all good and well, till I noticed Tessa and Minnie sitting a little away, looking at us.

Tessa had a very pained expression on her face, like she'd just taken a Potions test. She was looking at Sirius's hand, which was still twirling my hair.

I felt really bad. Agh, I feel like a horrible friend.

Scratch that—I AM a horrible friend.

So we chatted, and a while later we can to a topic of mild importance.

"So, Minnie's party!" Sirius said, starting on his marshmallow.

"Yes…" I said rather unenthusiastically.

"Let's talk by lake." Sirius suggested.

I nodded and followed.

I swear, if looks could kill, I'd be dead about fifty times over. Minnie hasn't stopped shooting me her special venomous glares—she sends them over every five minutes.

I've never been on the receiving end of one. It's rather odd.

We sat down by the lake. "So, er…." I began. Because that's just an amazingly informative sentence.

(To the particularly daft: Note the sarcasm).

"…Yeah." Sirius finished.

"Um…." I said, probably—no, DEFINITELY sounding like a complete and utter nitwit.

"…well, yeah…about…"

"…um…yeah…that…" I replied.

We were going in circles.

"…so…er, that." Sirius finished, playing with a smooth, flat rock.

"…um…yeah." I replied.

"…so…erm, well…what…will become…of…er, _that_?" Sirius asked.

For such a smooth talker to be so tongue-tied was weird.

"Um…I don't know." I replied, with an equally astounding vocabulary.

"…what…what do you want to…become of it?" Sirius asked.

This would have been a hilarious situation, since we were both talking like overly shy three year olds with a 10 word diction, but it wasn't…considering the topic.

"…what…do you want to become of…erm, it?"

"James is my best friend…he's really like my brother…his family took me in." Sirius said.

I thought it better to nod and not ask questions. Which is what I did, probably looking like a mute. But, whatever.

"So….oh, he's been mad about you since practically forever." Sirius continued.

I nodded, again.

"I can't—oh, I don't know what the bloody hell to do!" he said loudly, frustrated. He threw the stone into the pond, where it splashed noisily, sending water droplets flying.

I wouldn't be surprised if one water droplet landed on my head and therefore turned my whole mane of bright red (fire truck red!) hair as frizzy as…as…

Well, really frizzy, is the point.

So we've got a huge friend-betrayal issue…on BOTH sides.

Why don't we just set Tessa and James up and be done with it?

Except I'd feel bad, putting my best friend with such a total UGH.

Yes, ugh is not a noun, or a verb for any matter, nor an adjective. I don't think it's any part of speech, actually.

But I'm in the middle of a crisis, here. Is this REALLY a time to talk about grammar?

I think not.

Lily

Sept. 25

So, Sirius's agreed to bring refreshments to Minnie's party. We still have to alert people about when it is and whatnot.

I must talk to Minnie and Tessa. I haven't gone this long without talking to them since this time in second year…

Minnie and Tessa are of very repelling natures—Tessa, the quiet, shy, and generally sweet one; Minnie, the sharp, brutally honest one. And me…the freak-o girl.

I honestly belong in a roadside circus attraction, not Hogwarts.

I could be the "Friend Betraying Brat" and set up a stall next to the bearded lady and whatnot.

Anyway, about the second year fight, even though it's utterly off-topic.

So, Tessa has this cat—back in second year, when she'd just gotten it, it was this teeny ball of gray fur. I swear, you couldn't even see its eyes.

But whatever.

She still hadn't decided what to name it. Minnie, as her very nature suggests, isn't very fond of cats. I mean, she'll tolerate them, but she'll not go around feeding it liver-flavored biscuits or whatever disgustingly weird treats cats get.

So, on one stormy night (actually it wasn't a stormy night, it just sounds like a horror-ish novel that way—anyway, moving on)—well, so one normal, non-stormy night. We were all sitting on a circular couch, chatting about what to name Tessa's cat. The little gray dust mop (or that's what it looked like) was curled up on Tessa's chest, and all was well in the world.

For about five minutes, and after that, everything kind of shattered.

So Minnie had had a bad day; Christopher something-or-another (the constipated rat character—remember him?) had made fun of her, she'd gotten a bad mark on an exam, all that. Basically, bad mood land.

Tessa was all, "I'll name it Mr. Pigglewiggle!"

I tell you, ever since I mentioned that book, she's become obsessed. She doesn't care that it's obviously MRS. PIGGLEWIGGLE, noooooooooo. I mean, the cat was a male—so it wouldn't be fitting to call it a Mrs.—but anyway.

Then Minnie went, "That's such a stupid name for a cat!"

They went on bickering harmlessly for a bit, while I watched (it's often quite good fun to watch them squabble, I think it should be made an Olympic sport).

Finally, Tessa said, "So, if you hate all of my names, do you have a better one?"

She had an annoyed edge to her voice as she said this.

"Yes—Dust Mop Fur Ball Freak!" Minnie snapped.

Yes, it would have been bloody hilarious if they'd gotten into a catfight, but sadly they did not. Tessa merely stalked off.

They didn't speak for weeks…that is, until the matter was settled and Tessa named the cat "Dr. Seuss."

All I have to say is that at least the 'Dr.' goes both ways—that is, male and female.

I swear, that girl is obsessed with muggle kid book titles.

We call him Seussie for short. Okay, irrelevant but whatever.

But the point is not that Tessa named her cat after the creator of "One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish" and other such verses.

NO, the point is….WELL, so WHAT IF I'VE GOT NO POINT!

The thing to be learned is that I'm in a fight with my best friends and I really don't want to be. Also, that I accidentally snogged one of my friend's sort-of crush and the other friend is mad at me too, because of the snogging incident.

That made absolutely no sense, but I honestly could NOT care less at the moment.

I have many issues to resolve.

Yay. Not.

Lily

Sept. 26

Talked to Sirius again today.

It's rather pathetic, but I've got no other friends than him at the moment.

We were sitting outside again, in the sun.

We were chatting and there came a break in our conversation.

He said, "Oh…James talked to me about the, erm, the…Marshmallow Incident."

He said it like that, too. Like it was in capital letters.

"Oh. Um…what did he, er, say?" I replied, astonishing him with my wit (this is a joke).

"He, well, he basically said he was fine and if we wanted to have a—relationship or something, we could."

I nodded.

"He also had the expression of a very pained salmon while telling me this." Sirius continued.

I burst out laughing, and so did he.

"So, um, what do you want to do about this?" I asked.

"I don't know…how about we take it from where we left off?" he suggested, smiling in a rather handsome way.

"'Kay." I replied, TOTALLY betraying my friend.

Augh.

Which is how we ended up snogging—again, but this time minus the marshmallows—behind the willow tree.

All I can say in my defense is that he's a positively amazing kisser.

Seriously.

Augh, I so need to talk to Tessa, I'm such a friend-betrayer!

A friend-betrayer with a really bad case of frizzy hair right now, which makes it, like, a double whammy!

Lily

A/N: Alright, I hope you liked it.

Um…yeah, guys. Do not fear. This is NOT A Lily/Sirius story. So, yeah. Lily and James will get together eventually, duh. It's just a matter of when (grins)…

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review…I love every one of them! They make me sooooooooo happy!**

Thanks to: **moi**, **GypsyBookworm**: I'm so glad you like the story, and I hope you think I updated soon enough, charmingly-holly: Don't worry, it'll work out. I needed some conflict, it would be a horrendously boring story if everything was rainbows and fairies and smooth sailing. But stick around to see, **taniita**: Aww (blushes) thanks, **mrsbillehboyd**: Sorry…I update as quickly as I can. I'm happy you like the story, though., **Chocolate-Chipps**: Haha, your reviews are really amusing, keep it up! Haha. Anyway, what DOES boya mean? And yeah, I hope you liked this chapter also, **Vanessa-Black and Zabini**: Yeah, I feel really bad for James too (sobs)., **Rebel Rose**: Thanks for the very wordy, descriptive review, **pigs can fly**: I really like your pen name, **DobbyGrl**, **certified-weirdo**: Yeah, I'm really afraid of spiders also! Sorry about the spider-in-your-room-incident…I feel your pain, **crazy turtle**: Aww, thanks! I try to update as quickly as I can., **fish30**, **sunsun18**: I know, it's a first, isn't it, **moon-fan-101**, **ScarlettChristineGiry**: I'm happy you like the story, **HarryluvsMoaningMyrtle, bobby**


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